“What does not kill us, it makes us stronger” Friedrich Nietzsche
(…) My name is Monika. I am 39 years old. I’m miss. My life is a passion for knowledge, experiencing new things, unknown to me. Why am I writing this letter? Because I want to share my experiences with you, and through this I want to warn you a little and even more motivate you. Inspire you to stop, reflect on who you are, where you are, where you want to be.
I want you to define your needs, dreams. I want to motivate you to act, overcome difficulties, motivate you to create an environment appropriate for yourself. I want to motivate you to read your life mission, to eliminate the fear of (life) change.
I am a woman who survived consecutively – at the age of 18, being hit by a car, assault with an attempted rape, cheating on love and financial fraud, knee surgery, at the age of 39 another hit by a car, another knee operation, problems with (…). I experienced a few other unpleasant situations for me that I am not going to write about now. There were many upsets with my disability.
I was born in a small town and grew up in the countryside in a Catholic family. Fate meant that at the age of 18 I was hit by a car driven by a drunk driver. My dreams of studying law went on fire then. Time stood still, and in the mental and emotional development, the period when I was an infant came back for a short while. I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know anyone. Memory came back gradually, but not completely. I learned everything from scratch. I will not lie if I write that at the age of 18 I was born again. I regained my fitness thanks to the love and strength of my parents and brothers. Today I can say that I did not reach emotional maturity until I was 30.
I was a naive child for a long time. But thanks to this, I also smiled sincerely at everyone for a long time, not suspecting the other’s insincerity. I believed that the other person was authentic as I was. I also came back to my dreams. Unfortunately, after the accident, my memory was as fleeting as the wind. I had to quit my law studies.
I went back to studying. I learned by writing. I wanted to prove to the doctors from my town that their hypothesis “if I pass my high school diploma it will be a miracle, and I must forget about my studies” is false. I finished my master’s studies and gradually returned to a healthy self. Another dream was a doctoral degree. After graduation, I started additional work at universities. It gave me great joy. I love science in the broad sense of the word. Working at universities and, in addition, in one of the sectors that are significant in the economy, gave me the idea that it would be beneficial to support the development of Polish science and the company with new research. Unfortunately, deciding to dream of a PhD, I was not aware of what awaited me. And it was a long way and bumpy. I made this decision with a childish attitude, after all, nothing will stand in the way. The master’s thesis was easy, so the doctorate will also be nothing difficult. Unfortunately. It was quite different. It is a great challenge when your dreams are understood only by individuals. In this case, effective motivation depends only on itself. I heard from several people “You? Doctorate ?! “, “Doctorate will give you nothing “, allusions” , “When will you finish this doctorate? You write and you write! ”, etc.
It took a great deal of effort from me to digest my foreheads from the emerging notions of hatred, jealousy, and ridicule. Many times the thought of stepping back. However, when my hearing problems worsened and (…), I started using
a psychologist’s advice. It was thanks to the increased work on myself in cooperation with the psychologist that I did not give up and I was relentlessly walking towards achieving my goal, towards fulfilling my dreams. After getting stronger, it went faster, I saw the end. The person of my promoter, a man of knowledge, understanding but also demanding, was
a huge motivation for me. Besides, on my way I started to meet more people who cheered me on. The words “I admire”, “you are distinguished by your diligence and ambition”, “we need such women” were a gas pedal for me. They motivated us to go on with a smile, despite the difficult everyday life. Unfortunately, with the emergence of new events in my life – conferences, trainings, meetings with the promoter, meetings with doctors (because the knee started to hurt), meeting new people with different voices (including low-key ones that I do not understand), getting more and more strenuous. The first car hit caused a concussion and damage to the middle ear. I rejected the implant proposal because drilling in my head is unacceptable to me. My hearing loss is unusual. I needed two hearing aids right from the start.
In the first few years, I decided on one. Because, as a 30-year-old girl with hearing aids worn by the elderly? Still with two cameras? It was too embarrassing for me, unacceptable to my ego and (…). However, it was very destructive to pretend to hear in the company of more people. When I was in a group of men, I often smiled and understood nothing. It was also extremely sad and destructive when people who knew that I had a hearing problem deliberately spoke in a lower voice so that I would not hear. There were also contacts with men who lost contact after finding out that I had a hearing problem, that I was disabled. However, here too, all these situations that lower my self-esteem by the (un) conscious behavior of others, motivated me to look for solutions that would suit me. Conversations with a friend with whom I was closer and closer were also significant. I got pissed off with him sometimes. I did not understand his justification that some situations in my life, the ones that made me cry, must happen. However, it was he who helped me the most in everything. After 8 years of hard work and many adversities, I made it to the end. I fulfilled my dream of a PhD degree. And although communication in English is not as easy for me as it is for people without hearing loss, I rewarded myself with a three-week journey (solo) to the USA. I flew there mainly to the Burning Man event of my dreams. So in 2016, I made two dreams come true for years. It was an introduction to a fuller life. Then I felt that everything was possible for me. I am not afraid of the new. This feeling helped and strengthened also after knee surgeries and (…) another accident when I was hit at a pedestrian crossing. Then a friend helped again. It is thanks to him that I read my life mission. He made me live, walk, have the strength and motivation to make my next dreams come true. Today I have more scars on my knees, I wear two hearing aids (which I can’t hear perfectly yet) but I have nothing to hide and I’m not ashamed of it. I still have a natural smile that I share. Disability is not a reason to be ashamed, it is a chance given to me by a friend, a chance for
a different life, a chance for diversity. It is important to love yourself and not to be discriminated against. Friend – God constantly points out: Search, combine, find, use: money, time, knowledge, development, health, living in harmony with the desires of your soul. Because she is unique, special, because she is honest and good.
To sum up – The road to dreams is fulfilled alternately in the rays of the sun and raindrops. The day of your dreams to come true is the full moon. Unique for everyone separately. Worth waiting for. Because:
- Be persistent, do not give up in pursuit of the goal.
- Deepen your spiritual development, go deeper into yourself. Your soul in agreement with God / the Universe he will work wonders.
- Be careful, people are different. You are being watched, but not everyone will be honestly supporting you. There are many toxic people who are jealous of your personality, your determination. Keep your eyes peeled. Have a cynical, malicious sympathy, wish you better fate and go on ignoring. With honest, honest, share a smile, help.
- Use your disability to read your mission as fate has given you.
- Respect the diversity of life.
- Use loneliness for self-development. But set its limits by creating new ways to meet people with the same flow, with similar passions.
- Talk, ask, suggest.
- When loving others, love yourself.
“Life well spent is long”. Leonardo da Vinci
Tell mie about your story?
If you need my help, wite to me I invite you!
#help #motivation #coaching #powerofwoman